thoughts

I want more out of life

This blog is supposed to help me focus on what I want to achieve in my life. So, basically, it is a log of my pursuit of happiness. Of course, on a regular day, I would claim to be happy. I mean, who wouldn’t be when they are living the life that most people dream of? But, there are days when I feel empty. Days when I long for more. And days when I feel lonely. When I feel like so much is missing and I’m not the me I truly want to be. Those days are hard.

I’m currently having one of those days. I want more out of life. My life. I want. . . No, I NEED balance and order. Right now the scale is tipping and it’s all about me being a mom and a housewife. That’s fine for some days. But, in order for balance to be restored, I need more brain activity and energy to focus on useful, meaningful projects. I need to build a house or design a living space or consult on a wall color or something that really makes me feel like me again. I miss that person. She had such drive and creative ideas. I fear she’s gone on a long vacation and I need her to come back.

I can’t be the only person to feel this way. I mean I’ve read those blogs about women making sacrifices to become moms and stay home with their children. Is that really all for me? I don’t feel that I should just lose myself and attempt to find myself 20 years from now. I should still keep a part of me alive or breathing.

Okay, here’s an effort to get things back on track. If you could do anything for a day that would make you happy that didn’t involve parenting or cost you money, what would it be? And could you do it every day for the rest of your life? I think I would craft. I love making stuff and being creative. I really love making invitations, maybe I should create our Christmas cards.

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