I have a weird relationship with this word. I am constantly stating that,
I have no interest in forgiving someone who isn’t sorry
But, I’m not exactly sure what that means for me. Am I unknowingly holding grudges and therefor not allowing myself to properly heal from the damage that someone has done to me? Or am I unconsciously forgiving people without realizing that’s what I’m doing? What I think or feel that I’m doing is just not giving much thought to the situation unless I’m truly effected by it. But, what does that even mean?
The first definition of forgive is: to give up resentment of or claim to requital for. I don’t believe that I resent as much as it may appear I do. Unless, you count my need for closure. However, not every situation requires closure for me. I do have a few unresolved issues at the moment that I would love to find closure for. But I don’t believe forgiveness is the answer. Maybe that’s my problem. Am I supposed to publicly (or maybe to myself) state that I forgive someone for their wrong doings and then everything will be fine? Will my hurt feelings just go away? Something about that doesn’t make sense to me.
If forgiving someone is supposed to release you from the resentment that you are supposedly living with, then in guess I do forgive. Although others may not get it, I don’t always let someone else’ sanctions towards me rule my everyday life. Sure, if the subject comes up, I might seem angry, but that’s only for the moment. I live with that burden, nor does it always define me in future endeavors. But, I also don’t let that person off the hook. I tend to remove them from my life and try to move forward. I am, however, open to their apology if they choose to seek forgiveness. But, to be honest, that has never really happened. In all of my unresolved issues, not one person has come to me seeking forgiveness and I’ve denied them. So, my quote still holds true.
Now I’m sure there may be some contradictions in my understanding of forgiveness, but this is why I write this. Or why I’ve decided to have these Word of the Day posts. These are usually words that I, myself, struggle with. Or words that I find others don’t properly understand. Let’s have the discussion on Forgive. How do you define it, or what does it mean to you? How do you forgive?